New Blog!!

Okay everybody!! I am REALLY hating the fact that David is still in my blog address so I am goin to change it!! PLEASE PLEASE anyone who reads this either leave a message on here with you email or else email me at alf.1985@yahoo.com and I will make sure you get my new blog address!! Thanks and Happy Easter!!

Day 15

Day 15- First 10 songs with my IPod on shuffle

1: Jason Michael Carrol- Where I'm From

2: Alan Jackson- Like Red on a Rose

3: Garth Brooks- American Honky Tonk Bar Association

4: Gary Allen- Right Where I Need to be

5: Trace Adkins- The Rainbows and the Rain

6: The Darkness- I believe in a thing called Love

7: Reba McEntire- It's Your Call

8: Kenny Chesney- Don't Blink

9: Tim MgGraw- The Cowboy in Me

10: Trace Adkins- I Got My Game On

Wow.... lots of country there, promise I have a lot more variety on there, obviously my IPod knows I am in a country mood today!!

I want to brag BTW- I GOT A SUNBURN TODAY!!! :)

Day 14

Day 14- A pic with me and my family

Last year my brother wanted me to take his senior pictures up in the mountains and Boyd tagged along (we were just barley dating at the time) he was helping me take some of this pics and then I had my mom snap a few of Boyd, I and the kids- now I am really glad I did!!!

Me, Mom, Shaylee and Kaleb

Day 13

Day 13- A letter to someone....

Dear God,

I want you to know that I still know you exist, I have been thinking alot about you lately and as you probably know I am having some serious internal issues about religion. I am sorry that I (once again) have probably let you down. I am giving 100% of myself everyday to my patients, trying to "earn" some points by being a "servant" of yours in helping people cross the veil to your side of things. I have FELT things when people pass away, I FEEL your presence and your spirits although I may not see them, the peaceful feeling in so wonderful that I know there are better things after this life. That feeling is what keeps me believing in you and not the "scientific" aspect of the world.

Thank you so much for my children, I honestly BELIEVE that you gave them to me at certain points in my path to help keep me grounded on what I needed to be doing. Thank you for my short marriage to Andrue, without him I would not have such a wonderful family who still to this day loves me and considers me one of their own. Thanks (and God willing I will type this) for bringing David into my life.... I would not have Caeden without him and my life would not be complete without my son. I learned MANY lessons being married to David, some easy and some I am still paying the price for- but I will learn from ALL of them and move forward, being a better person.

God please help me to continue being a good mother, give me the patience that I need to get through every day. Please give me the knowledge and strength to be there for Brynlee, she needs her mom to teach her and get her through lifes obstacles and become a woman of integrity. Please give me the compassion to talk her through some things that she will face, please give me the right words at the right times to explain my mistakes and teach her the RIGHT way to do things. Brynlee is my BIGGEST worry in my life, I want the world for her and do NOT want her to make the same mistakes I have. I want her to find a man to love her and treat her with respect and allow her to become the woman she wants. I want better for her than looking for love in all the wrong places like me..... please guide her little heart and help me to teach her.

God please give me the strength to continue helping my friends and family, as you know I carry alot of their problems on my shoulders. Please watch over my Mom and Kaleb and Shaylee- I also want the best for them.

Thank you God for sending Boyd into my life when you did.... I would be lying in a deep dark hole if it werent for him holding me up. Thank you for giving me the strength and stubborn streak to get me through the last five years of life. You will be the only one to ever know the hell I was living in.... and how wonderful my life now is. Thank you for giving me the knowledge, compassion and integrity to take care of people during their last days, I truly LOVE my job and that means so much as I leave my children for work everyday. Please let all my little patients that have passed on know how much I miss seeing them and how much I love them- they know who they are!

Thank you for allowing me to be alive! Thank you for my children, friends, family, co-workers and all the other wonderful people I meet everyday. Please be with those in Japan and all over the world who are not as fortunate as I. Watch over those in need and send peace into the hearts of my friends/family that may need it. Forgive me for doubting you, I dont really, just need answers sometimes and someone to blame when things aren't going well. I will continue to serve you by being a nurse and giving my service to those in need, whether I ever step foot in a church again will remain to be seen..... but dont give up on me please.

I believe.

I have faith.

Just confused and hurt by some who dont know better.

Help them as well, they are the ones who I should be praying for the most.

Day 12

Day 12- How I found out about blogger and why do I blog?? I actually heard people talking about their "blogs" Steph Tucker being one of them ;) and I was curious, once I got online and seen her blog I was hooked! I LOVE to scrapbook but dont have the time/space to do it all the time. So this is a way of "speedily" scrapbooking, plus I love the "everyday" type things that I blog - these are things I would most likely never scrapbook. I like to go back even a year and see how much things have changed in my life, blogging at first for me I didnt put too much personal info but now its occasionally been my "release" and almost like a journal. Blogging is fun, I can check out others blogs and get ideas and its been so much fun! My goal is to get more on here so I can have the real book made out of my blog.... but we will see if I can get with the program or not, this 30 day challenge has been challenging enough :)

Day 11

Day 11- A pic with friends

These are from my trip last weekend and Laura has become such a great friend and I love her so much!! Thanks Laura for treating me to a wonderful trip it was much needed!!

Top of Bunker Hill Monument (above)

Beach at Chatham Lighthouse

Day 10

Day 10- Music I listen to in my many moods

I LOVE this day because I LOVE music, my IPod is ALWAYS going, I plug it in my car and there is not a minute of the day I am not singing to something usually. My favorite person of all time and HEART throb for YEARS is good ol' George Strait!! There is no other singing who has music that can make my day like him!! Every song of his is catchy and I love it!! I am a big time country fan, always have been and always will be- country is easy to sing to which is what I love about it. I know people say that with country your always loosing your woman, man, dog, friends, etc etc but.... doesn't it go along with life? I love that there is a song that goes along with everyone's life story :)

Seriously.... is there a better looking man out there?? (sigh**)

Michael Buble- LOVE him also!! When I am in a fun and bubbly mood I like to listen to his music, or even when I am having a crappy day because it makes me happy :) His song "I just haven't met you yet" I first heard right about the time Dave and I seperated and it seriously was played a million times and helped get me through that point in my life.

Taylor.... well what can I say? I didn't care for her at first but she is growing on me :) The best thing about her is that Bryn and I sing her together which is fun

Okay.. this is so opposite of most of the music I listen to- but Nickelback is my FAVORITE rock band- have been for years!! They are my "I freaking hate everybody, I am pissed as hell, leave me the hell alone" music. When David and I would fight I would pop this in my little sporty Chevy Cobalt SS and seriously- drive 120mph with the windows down and this blaring up the mountian, not caring whether I crashed or not.... It's been a long time since I have been that mad that I have listened to them like that.... but there was just something about this particular track that helped get out my frustration by blaring and speeding.

Music is such a part of our lives, everyone has a song I believe.... some of us just dont have all the lyrics written yet. :)

Day 9

Day 9- Something I am proud of in the last few days

I am really and truly proud of the fact I have not lost my temper or been annoyed at ANYTHING- everyday I just maintain my happy go-lucky attitude and just take the punches as they come.... this has been hard for me to manage but its working wonderfully!!

Day 8

Day 8- Short term goals for the month and why?

Wow.... hadn't really thought about this one. I have a few things I have been internally working on in my own little brain, this trip to Boston was at the PERFECT timing because I really needed time to clear my head and think about my life, future, relationships, jobs, etc. It seems like I have been on a rollercoaster for the last year that hasn't stopped and even though I have unloaded a few things on the way (RN school graduation being a big one). I have been overwhelmed and headed for a nuclear meltdown.... so I guess my short term goals have been:

1) Find myself

2) PATIENCE- with my kids especially

3) I need to let things "roll-off" my back more and not get so upset- the bull s*&^ that happens at work has really been getting to me and I have almost quit a few times. Also all the crap that people say about me "not going to church" or "my new relationship status" or just whatever- which leads to my next goal.....

4) Find something positive to think of every day that makes me feel better, I have been doing this whenever I get down or have a crappy day or people at work make me mad (although one good thing about home care is I drive alot so I can crank Nickelback and that always helps too) this actually works!!!

There are so many goals that I can think of I should have... but right now I am focusing on being a better me for me..... and I am a much happier person and it reflects in my job and my family. Life is wonderful and TOO SHORT to be not happy!!!!!

Day 7

Okay I am getting off track and its only going to get worse because I am going on vacation :( So for you faithful readers of mine... I am sorry but we are going to do that at my "30" day pace!! :)



Day 7: Pic of somone/something that has had the biggest influence on my life.



My kids have had such a impact of my life.... but they do every mothers life, and not to mention I blog about my kids all the time... so I am going to change it up a little. Most of you know about Boyd already..... we are getting married at some point later this year :) There are SO SO SO many things that have influenced me so greatly in my life: my parents, my nursing career, so many leaders, friends and family. However, the last year of my life has been MOSTLY influenced by this man.
He is SO wonderful.... not only did I give up on love, after everything I have been through I REFUSED to get married again.... ever..... until I met him! A little history into this for those of you I havent talked to.... I have known Boyd for 6 years at Gold Cross, never paid too much attention to him... we have had some rough calls together like a 6 year old that was killed and some others that we talked about but other than that.. nothing! We started talking a little bit last year after David had moved out and I found out he was also getting divorced and its all history after that.
He is the most CARING and WONDERFUL man I have ever known!!! He is so wonderful to help me around the house.. and lets face it girls.... a man that cooks, cleans and helps with the kids- IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE!! I am HOLDING on tight to this one!!! He treats me like a queen and not a day goes by that he doesn't tell me I am beautiful and he loves me..... what a dream come true for me!!
So he has really changed my way of thinking the last year, and it hasnt been easy for him because I have resisted in being serious and even getting engaged or married, it was really hard for me to let someone in my heart again.... and its still hard but he keeps PATIENTLY chipping away at me every day.....

Day 6

Day 6- Five favorite TV shows

Well... being that I have not even has cable/satellite for 2 years.... I have not been watching any TV. So I will tell you my favorite shows from before.

1- I DO LoVe LoVe LOVE House!!! He is hilarious and we have all the DVD sets and watch them nightly before bed :)

2- ER- I know its not even playing anymore but it was always one of my favorite shows

3- Scrubs (Anyone notice a trend)

4- Everybody Loves Raymond

5- King of Queens

Sorry I am so boring but I usually am too busy to watch TV so movies are more frequent. Hope everyone is enjoying this WONDERFUL weather I am LOVING it- took down the Christmas lights, washed out the garage, been bike riding.... can't wait for summer!!

Day 5

Day5: Picture of somewhere you have been

I have been lots of places the last few years but last year I went on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico and Lakeview, Ohio on a road trip so here are some of my pics!!

St. Louis Arch

Driving across the Mighty Mississippi River!!

This was too funny not to post- little old Mexican man in Ensenada trying to sell horse crap- LOL

Blow Hole: Ensenada, Mexico

Day 4

Day 4: A habit you wish you didnt have....

Oh boy!! I am sorry but noone could read a post that long!! My WORST habit is PiCkInG my freaking face, zits, whatever you want to call it!!! I am SO horrible at it!!! I am 26 and would LOVE nothing more than to have pretty skin, and I would, if I could quit PICKING at it!!! When I actually go for a week or two and make it a point to not touch my face my skin clears up and looks great... but thanks to stress, kids, jobs, whatever... it will probably always be my worst habit!

My next habit that has helped me pack on a few pounds the last week is stupid chocolate- and its not just any chocolate- I have seasonal chocolate- at Christmas its fudge and Almond Roca, Valentines chocolates, Easter its those DAMN Cadbury Mini-Eggs and Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs... the list continues on and on.

Those are the two habits that cause me the most grief I guess.... the others I will save for another post. :)

Day 3

Day 3: Pictures of you and your friends

(Sorry Nichole I searched through all my computer files and dont have one of you and I :( If I had a scanner boy I would have lots of them tho!! Love you friend and I had good intentions!)

Chelsea McPhie- my best friend growing up :) This pic is Vegas in 2008

Tina McCarley, Christy Bortz and I with the kiddos 2007
Brookie and me at my RN graduation 2010

Christy Ainsworth at RN graduation (she is going to be a mommy finally!! YAY!)

Dr. Laura Arnold and her husband Wes- they have been such good friend of mine for years now and I am so sad they are moving :(

To all of you other friends of mine, let this be a lesson that we should take more pics together!! But whether I have pics on here of you or not, (you know who you are) I still have the BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD and you have all helped me get through some trials in my life and I love you all!!!

Day 2

Day 2: Meaning of your blog name

This one is easy because its pretty self-explanatory :)

This blog is about me and my two kids and the fun things we do :)

30 Day Challenge (Just late)

I recieved the 30 day Facebook challenge, but decided to do it on blogger instead :) And like anything else in my life lately- I am late getting started :)

Day 1: Recent pic and 15 facts about me

1: I am a hospice nurse and I love it, who would have thought and ANYONE could actually ENJOY helping people die?? Its so spiritual and I love being there for people at that time in their life.

2: I have been married and divorced- not once- but twice :( (But got two wonderful children out of the deal so its okay)

3: I am scared beyond belief to get married again, or to let people get too close to my heart

4: I LOVE to scrapbook but dont have enough time for it

5: I love everything about Fall, the colors, scents, feeling in the air, but hate that winter follows it.

6: My favorite holiday is Halloween!!

7: One day I will have my own ranch with horses

8: My favorite snack (other than anything chocolate) is Kettle corn and I have mastered cooking it!!!

9: I LOVE camping, I could quit my job and live on the mountain all summer

10: Cleaning is what I do to relax

11: I love to sit in the bath tub and read until the water gets too cold

12: I love bra's/underwear ( I know this is nuts but some women buy shoes/purses- I love cute underwear. I dont know what I will ever do when I have to wear garments)

13: I love to save money, I love to shop sales, yard sales, discount stores to find a good buy- its like a game sometimes to find the best bang for your buck!

14: I am a very social person, but also like my "time outs"

15: I want nothing more in life right now then to be a better mother, nurse, friend and companion and this is something I work on every day!!

(This was really hard to sit here and think of random 15 facts about myself ;P)

Hoover Dam

I really HATE January, its frigid cold, still snowing and I get so depressed from the weather... so to fix any chance of that ;) we went down south for a few days. My family was having a get together in Mesquite so we stayed there for two nights, gambled a little (Boyd showed me how to play 21 and I can see how people get addicted- winning money is fun!) and then Saturday Boyd and I loaded up the kids and went to Hoover Dam and then back to St George for the night. Mesquite has really slowed down we even had a hard time finding somewhere to eat! The pool was closed at the hotel so we went to the park on Friday, just to soak up some sun. Hoover Dam was great!! Caeden just had his tonsils out last week so he was a little booby that is why he is not in very many pics, he wasnt being very cooperative of my picture taking.

At the Casa Blanca Hotel in Mesquite
Hoover Dam on the Arizona side

The new bridge they finished last year for the traffic to divert from over the dam

I am in two states at once!!!

The turbines of the power plant down in the dam

St. George is definatley a more kid-friendly place than Mesquite... we swam in the pool, ate at the Pizza Factory and enjoyed a good night sleep! The sun did us all a lot of good..... if I had a lot of money I would for sure buy a condo in the warm weather! But now Januray is over and on to Feb we go! Hope everyone is doing well!! Lots of love from our family to yours!!!